Hibernation Techniques. Part One.


I would like to share some of my techniques used to keep yourself from having to leave your Man-Cave (or woman) when you just don’t want to be outside. Hibernating can be good for the mind, and actually help develop tactics in fighting boredom.

Find a good pair of comfy pants, now the pants can pretty much be anything you find most comfortable. For me I go with my plaid blue fleece pants (a Christmas present from 2 years ago).  Now some of you are going to make a mistake by either wearing a pair that is suitable for going outside or just not comfortable enough to sit around in for days on end. (This is just fine people, there is a learning curve when trying to fulfill a few days of hibernating). The biggest rookie mistake people make is not having the back up pair. For me this is the sweatpants. (with sweatpants, you need to make sure they fit, not to tight, but not to baggy). The sweat pants are for when the first pair either A) become to filthy or smelly for even you to lay around in or B) people just don’t take you serious enough in the pajama pants (they think you may have just woken up)

The sweatpants are going to send a different message to those friends of yours. The message you want them to receive is “this man has given up, he is not going anywhere” you need to be careful with these ones, because they are only used in desperate measures.  Lay around in the sweatpants long enough, and they start to become you, you actually believe you have given up. (this takes years of practice to be able to escape the sweatpants, it is not for the weak of heart). The sweatpants can get you out of many social outings that pajama pants can’t. Ex. your friends try to drag you out but you can’t go, it’s laundry day, hence the sweat pants. Little do they know that you are pulling a full on hibernation stint. Now if you had pajama pants, they think you just woke up and you got some jeans to throw on. not good. Unless you have the sweatpants as back up, throw those on and they won’t want to take you anywhere!

So, do we have are pants picked? good. On to the most important part of hibernating. Screening phone calls. If you don’t have call display, pay the extra 5 bucks and get it, it is well worth the money. Screening calls is going to be a major part of hibernating. DO answer calls from family, your partner, gaming buddies, and the most important drinking buddies. DON’T answer calls from work, future employers, workout buddies, sports buddies, come drink at my house drinking buddies. You want people to come to you, if you have to leave the house, that means putting the “jeans” on. Your drinking buddies can pick up extra necessities such as beer, smokes, and some light snacks. Your family may have something important to tell you like, your inheritance has kicked in, they found a GST cheque of yours, or just a family emergency.  Your partner can bring takeout or even come over and cook a meal for you. The other people are going to want you to come to work, go for a run, etc, etc.

Tomorrow we will cover items you will need to complete the hibernation process.

 

 

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About jordsbored

I'm Bored.
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