Hibernation Techniques. Part Two

Welcome to part two of my hibernation techniques, for those of you who have not read part one, go and read it, wtf?. I am going to cover a series of items you must have while hibernating, these items will keep you from getting bored. They may even stimulate your mind.

Smokes – Yes I know they are bad for, I have read the reports, seen the commercials, blah blah blah…  Listen, if you are unemployed, have nothing to do, you might as well smoke some cigarettes, they say it relieves stress. Stress can cause one to leave the hibernation process, you may stress out that you don’t have a job, money is tight, but come on a couple smokes never hurt a guy..right? The last thing you want to do is leave your home, so smoke some cigarettes, and keep yourself focused.

Beer – You can’t always count on your drinking buddies to supply you with beer. I suggest to have at least 6 beers on hand a day. 3 for the afternoon, and 3 for the evening when your afternoon buzz is giving you a headache. Depending on how many days you plan to stay inside, times the days by 6. example, 7 days x 6 beers = 42 beers.

The internet – You are going to want the internet. If you don’t have the internet, sign up, poach it, do whatever it is you need to do to have internet. Come on get with the times, how else are you going to see what a monkey looks like in a dress roller skating? The internet can keep you busy for hours on end, this helps fight boredom during the hibernation process.

Snacks – And not those crappy vegetables and fruits, I’m talking about chips, cookies, popcorn, and pizza pops. Food items that take minutes to prepare and leave you feeling satisfied. You’re gonna need to snack on something before the pizza dude shows up, might as well have some chips on hand.

Imagination – This is a big one, remember sitting around all day staring at the wall can be productive, but your imagination is going to get you through some of those slow parts of the day. Imagine your somewhere nice, like Mexico, your parents house, a high paying job where you do nothing. When in doubt the thrift store always has cheap puzzles.

Musical Instrument – You are already sitting on your ass doing nothing. Pick up an instrument, I play guitar, set a goal for yourself. Try and learn 2-3 new songs a day. Maybe even write one of your own. Here is a start. Come on, we have the internet, it’s easier than ever to learn how to play these ridiculously hard things. You might even start a sweet band and become super famous. Then you can hibernate all you want and call it “working”.

If you fellow hibernators feel I am missing anything, please leave a comment, let me know.


About jordsbored

I'm Bored.
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